I Choose to Fight Depression Because
by Syazana Sky
I choose to fight depression because I love myself.
I love myself way too much for me to let myself to be sucked in this hole forever.
This hole is so deep that no matter how loud I shout, no one could hear my voice.
This hole is so empty that no matter how far I run, I could find nothing for me to hold on to.
The hole is so dark that no matter how many matchsticks I light, it could never illuminate this space.
But, in the hole, I did not feel sad.
Nor did I feel frustrated.
Nor did I feel stressed.
Nor did I feel lonely.
Nor did I feel tired.
Instead, I feel…
Nothing.
Living in this hole has benefitted me in zero ways. Instead, it ruined me. It made me push away all of the people around me, even the ones who cared about me, just because I was too comfortable of being alone. It made me lock myself in my room, and cover myself with the blanket of negativity. It made me stare at the ceiling for hours, thinking that my existence does not matter.
However, after a few moments of rational pondering, I was reminded of the love that I have for myself. Yes, I love myself, very much. And I care for myself, more than anyone else in the world. Then, if I really do, what is the reason for me to let myself fall into this bottomless pit of darkness?
So at that very second, I’ve decided that this has to stop.
The biggest priority in my life is my health and my happiness. And, being depressed, has definitely took away both of this elements from my life. I was no longer smiling, and I keep on falling sick. In order for me to reclaim what is supposedly mine, I figured that I need to begin with the very first step.
And that step is, saying these words out loud.
“I choose to fight depression, because I love myself.”
P/s: This article has participated in Positive July 2018 writing event
I choose to fight depression because I love myself.
I love myself way too much for me to let myself to be sucked in this hole forever.
This hole is so deep that no matter how loud I shout, no one could hear my voice.
This hole is so empty that no matter how far I run, I could find nothing for me to hold on to.
The hole is so dark that no matter how many matchsticks I light, it could never illuminate this space.
But, in the hole, I did not feel sad.
Nor did I feel frustrated.
Nor did I feel stressed.
Nor did I feel lonely.
Nor did I feel tired.
Instead, I feel…
Nothing.
Living in this hole has benefitted me in zero ways. Instead, it ruined me. It made me push away all of the people around me, even the ones who cared about me, just because I was too comfortable of being alone. It made me lock myself in my room, and cover myself with the blanket of negativity. It made me stare at the ceiling for hours, thinking that my existence does not matter.
However, after a few moments of rational pondering, I was reminded of the love that I have for myself. Yes, I love myself, very much. And I care for myself, more than anyone else in the world. Then, if I really do, what is the reason for me to let myself fall into this bottomless pit of darkness?
So at that very second, I’ve decided that this has to stop.
The biggest priority in my life is my health and my happiness. And, being depressed, has definitely took away both of this elements from my life. I was no longer smiling, and I keep on falling sick. In order for me to reclaim what is supposedly mine, I figured that I need to begin with the very first step.
And that step is, saying these words out loud.
“I choose to fight depression, because I love myself.”
P/s: This article has participated in Positive July 2018 writing event
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